I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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