all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
