Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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