He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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