so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I will be naked everywhere
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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