we have officially lost it.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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