no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he fucked my hip out of place.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
