So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
