Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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