So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
