I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
