I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
