the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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