Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
