I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
