Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
