well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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