Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
