it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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