girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
