I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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