writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
