check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm at about main and main street
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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