Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize