ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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