we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you win again, gameday.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize