Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The beer is more important than you right now.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
