Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
