I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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