please come you make the beer taste better
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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