it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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