Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
