I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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