Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
