Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
