So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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