May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
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He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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