My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
