I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
