You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize