I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize