bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
