The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
