I must be too annoying 4 u.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
