I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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