dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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