she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
