I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
