can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
