I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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