I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She bit a glass in half.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
