Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize