You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
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as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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