sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
found the other keg... it's in the tree
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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